Simon Says... Don't say "don't" to your kids!

Have you ever watched a bunch of kids play Simon Says and when Simon says "stop" almost everyone keeps doing what they were doing before? The brain didn't know how to process "Stop." It only took me three kids and eleven years (hah!) to realize I should never say "don't","stop", or "no" to my kids. It almost never works and it almost always causes a battle.

Perfect example- I'm at the grocery store a couple of weeks ago and this mother and her toddler are there. All I heard the whole way through the store was "Don't stand up in the cart!" over and over again. The kid never sat down, not once, and he was fussing the whole time. At one point, I was right next to their cart and the mom had her back turned to her son. He was, you guessed it, standing up in the cart. I looked at him as the cart shook dangerously and said "Uh oh! Mommy said sit down." He sat down immediately! He just needed a positive direction. His brain had no idea what to do with "Don't stand up" but it knew exactly what to do with "Sit down."

Even older kids can benefit from getting positive direction from their parents. If you tell your preteen, "Don't leave your coat on your floor," they will probably continue to leave their coat on the floor or start leaving it in some other inappropriate place; but, if you tell them, "Put your coat in the closet," there's a much better chance they'll do it. Really, at any age, if you give a person a direction or a choice they will always meet you with less resistance than if you just tell them to stop doing what's wrong.

By the way, my husband, who is a youth coaching expert, has a another great practical example of this approach in his latest blog post at www.coachreed.com

I forgot how much I like to bake...

Baked brownies last night and cookies today. I forgot how much I like to bake! It's so cathartic. The kids absolutely love it, of course! But, what really melted my heart today was when Cooper came home from school and, unprompted, thanked me for making him brownies for snack time at school. I guess it meant a lot to him.

When I start to beat myself up for being "just a stay-at-home mom" I have to remember this. To my kids, I'm their hero! I make them the most popular kid in their class by making brownies and sending them with an extra one. I get up early and make them a hot breakfast so they have plenty of energy for playground games. I watch "Between the Lions" with them and quiz them on the words they learn so they get something out of watching TV. I notice when they need "Mommy Time" even before they do and head tantrums off at the pass.

My house is never clean, and my dishes are never done, and my laundry is never put away BUT my kids won't remember that stuff anyway.

Aubrey Rose Foundation

I took Julia to an audition for an American Girl Doll fashion show. I admit, I am normally one to turn my nose up at child auditions for anything but Julia loves those dolls and the info said to have her dress normally and not wear makeup. They wanted REAL girls. This seemed okay to me. I looked up the charity that was running the event as a fundraiser. I was interested and felt they were a good organization. But I was non-committal. When we got there, we checked in and after taking Julia's measurements they guided us to an area to watch a short video and hear about what the Aubrey Rose Foundation ( www.aubreyrose.org ) was. I teared up. This couple lost their baby girl to congenital heart disease but not before traveling all over creation trying to fix her! After she passed away suddenly, they began this foundation to help families who are facing financial hardship because of an illness.

Having three children, and seeing the toll that my own father's illness has had on my family, I immediately realized just how hard it must be for a family when a child gets sick. For instance, my father is able to go to most of his appointments on his own. I only help out when he has a major procedure or health event. Families with sick children have no choice like I do. If it was really inconvenient for me to help my mother, I'd ask her to check with one of my siblings. You can't do that when it's your own child! And your other children have to be on the back-burner out of necessity at times.

I am so glad God helped put me there this morning. I needed this. I take it for granted that my kids are well. I only help my parents when my siblings can't or when it's a major event. I am looking forward to volunteering for this organization. And I will from now on, pray for families struck with an ill child.

"If he dances, he may have to pee."- The story behind the blog title

Our church has a wonderful children's program with gracious, understanding, and knowledgeable volunteers running it. However, my children are sometimes unusual about certain things and I occasionally have to inform caregivers of odd things to watch out for. My son, Cameron, waits to the very last second to go the bathroom and will dance around while playing trying to hold it in as long as he can. If someone asks him if he needs to go to the restroom he ALWAYS says no, even when the answer is YES.

So... our very first time using the childcare at our church I had to put a sticker on Cameron's back with his name and special instructions. The only one I could think of was "If he dances, he may have to pee." When we picked him up after the service, the ladies in the childcare could not stop laughing about that sticker, and it hadn't even dawned on me that it was funny until then.

That one special instruction on Cameron's back is a good example of what my life is like- a little chaotic, very funny, and always anticipating the next "pee-pee dance."

Flying Pig 10k

I live north of Cincinnati and grew up in Cincinnati so I am finally going to do the Flying Pig marathon weekend. I'm going to start with the 10K this year and my husband and I will be doing it with an assortment of relatives and friends. Started training last week and promptly got the plague. So, I'm finally feeling better so tomorrow I will probably do a 4mi walk/jog to get back on track and yet take it easy on my lungs for a few more days. I will probably get a new pair of running shoes soon so that I'll be due for my next pair before the race in May. I figure if I get them in April then I'll have month to break them in. I really can't wait for this experience! I've never run in a race with anyone but my husband. With this group we're going with we'll have some camaraderie. It should be so fun! And I'll be in good shape after the race to chase my kids around all summer.

My first blog, ever!

Well if you're looking at this you probably want to know why I'm writing a blog, what it's about, and maybe what I'm about.

The blog is really just my daily life which sometimes is found pretty comical by others. Since I have three kids, two dogs (one of which is HUGE and afraid of everything including butterflies- a blog in and of himself), two cats, a sweet, sexy, goofy husband with more jobs than I can count, and two more adorable little kids that I babysit- I get asked a lot how I do it. Which is a pretty silly question since I'm not sure what I'm doing. Are the people who ask this thinking that I actually have the option of not "doing it?" I guess so.

So, the "why I'm writing a blog" question is answered best by saying, why not? My friend, Jane, who has seven kids, two dogs, and a lot of cats, legitimately gets asked the "how do you do it" question way more than me. But, she thinks I should write a blog. Why, not? I love to write and I never make myself do it. I sometimes make others chuckle, I sometimes tell people about something interesting I've learned, I do think I can help other moms out some with fitness, time management, household frugality, and ways to keep very energetic kids busy, and if nothing else, I have some friends and family that will like to read up on our crazy family.

The "what I'm about" question has what I think is an interesting answer. It seems like I change every month. I feel like I'm just becoming a grown-up at age 30. Many friends and family would agree with that. I'm starting to feel more comfortable in my own skin, more confident in who I am, the friends I've chosen, the family I've built. Jane suggested I blog about things I do, like, come across, etc. so I will. Hope you enjoy it!